I Never Knew That (A Reflection About the Passing of Kobe Bryant)

I haven’t written in a while, haven’t been too inspired... but the event that occurred a week ago today sparked a little something.  A little something that has been brewing because I’ve been attending a lot of funerals here lately.  I began to think about my own mortality, about what will people say about me once I’m gone, am I making the best of my life? I’m glad I’m saved... all of that, questions, reflection, affirmations.  As people would get up and share moments about the departed, how they used to write songs and play guitar... I never knew that... how someone was a seamstress and would give clothes away freely ... I never knew that ... ultimately, how loved they were by the people truly close to them, the friends who knew them intimately for the majority of their lifetime... talks on the phone for hours, hanging out… stuff like that. I realized, I wasn’t close to them at all... I dare to ponder if I am close to anyone... but, people allow you in, we are drawn to certain people...we are just organic, authentic like that ... 

I also think, as I sit in the funerals (Homegoing Services) yeah, everyone in this room has a time when we’ll have to go.  Will it be an early departure or will we get time... Time to fix it, time to finally do it, time to find true happiness, time to be free ... I always hope the departed one was happy, had felt true love, that they lived life to the fullest.  It seems so simple to be happy, but it’s not.  I just hope that they were.

With Kobe’s death, man ... he was larger than life! He lived!! He had happiness, I’m sure he had his ups and downs and his friends will share it all with us, as I didn’t know him, not like that... not at all, actually ... yet, my heart aches so bad for him, for everyone with him last week, getting up early to go do something they love.  Seems so simple, routine even.  I remember getting up early to go to football games and soccer matches with my kids, whew! The great distances we’d go …How I loved it, how I loved to watch them do their thing.  I connect with all of them on that level, just doing what we do, doing what we love, supporting our kids, watching our kids... sadly, they won’t get to do that anymore.

There’s so much I’m learning about Kobe and his heart, it was big geesh, I wish I had gotten a chance to know him... all of them ... it’s crazy to want to know everyone, because we all seem worth knowing when we’re gone.  It’s Crazy... 

Hey, make a new friend today... talk to people... open up... don’t be afraid... everyone has something special to offer, yeah, everyone.

Rest In Peace Kobe... you’ve inspired me to keep living my dream, as crazy as it may seem.   I dedicate my song “I Miss You” to you... I know someone feels this way about you, about everyone with you last week.  You were someone's best friend.

Leave your thoughts...tell me something about you that perhaps I may not know.  I love you all.

Castella 💜